Making progress...

Yikes! So it’s been awhile since I last wrote. I’ve been meaning to update this thing for quite some time now, but as April 16^th grows nearer, I find myself with less and less time on my hands. Recently I’ve been reading the blogs of some of my fellow PC invitees and I feel they all have done an amazing job putting their thoughts and feelings into words. It’s been extremely comforting to read the emotions they’re going through, and know I am not the only one who is stressed beyond normal functioning. Every morning I wake up with a heavy weight on my shoulders as if I’m stuck reliving the night before a 15-page term paper is due and the only thing I can focus on is the blinking cursor on a blank screen. There is just so much to do, and so little time to get it all done. There is always going to be something more I should have done, or bought, or packed, or visited, and I need to learn to live with that.

It’s a constant battle between dwelling on everything and everyone I’m going to miss back home, and being excited about what I’ll discover and grow used to in Botswana. It shows through my responses when people ask me “How are you doing with preparations?”, “Are you getting excited?”, and “Are you nervous?” Depending on what mood I happen to be going through at the time, a corresponding answer definitely falls out of my mouth. Fortunately, I think, I haven’t experienced the extreme range of emotions that I’ve read in some of the other Bots7ers’ blogs. This makes me a little nervous, wondering if I’m saving up all my mixed emotions for one huge breakdown at the gate, or whether part of me has managed to remain unfazed by all of this and my usual lack-of-emotion (read: cold-hearted) self reigns supreme. Either way, sliding back and forth between my two big emotions is keeping me plenty busy for now. It’s both a relief and exhausting to think that when we arrive in Botswana all the preparing will finally be over, yet it’s only the beginning of the next adventure, one far more challenging, and with what will feel like only a moment’s chance to take a deep breath.

This past week has been the most productive for me so far. For those of you who are familiar with my procrastination tendencies, or perhaps share the habit yourself, this was a hugely [eh? eh? ;)] motivated week for me. I started off with about 6 pieces of notepad paper covered front to back with to-do lists, to-pack lists, to-buy lists, along with any other fleeting thought that crossed my mind and I felt compelled to write down. By Thursday afternoon, I narrowed it all down to 3 clean pages in a notebook that I dug up in my genius effort to keep myself organized. With that all compiled and done, I feel a little bit more confident about the inevitable list of tasks scrolling through my head, and some of the weight has been lifted. Everything's going to be fine. I just have to keep reminding myself to sit back and enjoy the ride.

Just a note: Next week is my last week at work. I’m debating whether I can even make Wednesday my last day, which is looking like a very appealing possibility since it would give me two whole extra days to get things done. Also with that time, I plan on beefing up my blog a little more. My goal now is to add several links to HIV, Botswana, and Peace Corps information to satisfy the fact-hungry side of you all, and to just layout my job duties and whatnot in a lot more clearer fashion than I’m sure what I’ve said in conversation.